Bonzer Wolf™ (bonzerwolf) wrote,
Bonzer Wolf™

Tiger's Tail

Jean Baptiste Lacroix/Getty Images; AP Photo/David Zentz; LG/Flynet

How did Tiger Woods keep track of these three? It could be quite a chore keeping track of which cocktail waitress is denying what and who's sexting who. Tiger is reportedly revising a prenuptual agreement to give His wife, a staggering $55 million to keep her from walking a way with their two young children. Deepthroat said it first, "Follow the Money!"

BTW, do you think if the Florida Highway Patrol found you laid out barefoot on the front lawn, in shorts, with a cut lip, snoring at 2:30AM, after you just ran over a fire hydrant AND a tree in your SUV, that they might give you a breathalyser?

Wolf advise for the Tiger

Hey Tiger, this story ain't going away in my lifetime. Think of it as a PG rated OJ saga. KARMA baby! I don't care where you stick that Greg. But you're a jerk now and have always been a jerk. Your caddy is an asshole too. The free ride is over Mister T. Anna Nicole is dead and OJ is doing ten in the desert. You are THE tabloid tale now.

Maybe if you hadn't been the cheapest ass billionaire on the planet, you would have played this smarter. Las Vegas blackjack dealers say there has never been a bigger stiff than you. You think giving $55 million and counting to a wife who will never forgive you nor let you forget your ho's or the humiliation that she has gone through, is a wise use of your precious dollars?

Not for nothing Tiger, but put a fork in that marriage, it's done. You're not going to be able to keep that little five wood in your pants anyway. It's all over but the crying now. Be smart for a change. Pay Elin $20 million. Cut her loose and cut your loses at the same time. You will come out $35 million ahead, which is more than enough to finance a lifetime of Tigering around Vegas.

Besides, you won't be the first asshole on the block to get a D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Man up & move on. You're not too big too fail.

Tags: life, today

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded